Why Should I Cry?

"Every night in my dreams I see you. I feel you. That is how I know you go on … Once more let us open the door … There is some love that will not go away” (CD)

Let us mourn today, and
rebuild tomorrow!

Perhaps, the one day a year that remains far from our understanding is Tish'a b'Av. We are told that it is a day of fasting. 

Why?

Because both the first and second Beis ha'Mikdash were destroyed on this day.

Many people, especially children, struggle with this concept. They ask, or perhaps only think, "What's the big deal? Why should I mourn for a building that was destroyed over 2,000 years ago? What does it mean to me?"

We never saw the Beis ha'Mikdash. We cannot grasp what we have lost since we have never experienced it.

So why do we mourn? Why must we fast?

There was once a couple who remained childless for many years, yet awaited Hashem’s intervention and salvation with complete and unrelenting faith. In due time, Hashem heard and answered their tefillos, as the woman became pregnant. The couple was overjoyed and filled with elation, while they patiently anticipated the birth of their child. However, when the woman went into labor, she was met with difficulty and danger. The most experienced and reputable doctors were called, and then the top surgeon was dispatched. Finally, the husband was ushered into the doctor’s office and given the most dreadful and heartbreaking news.

“Your wife is in a very dangerous situation,” the head doctor painfully explained. “We are at a point where we may not be able to save her life. The only way that we can preserve her life is to allow the baby to die. You have to make the choice. Either you choose the life of your wife or that of the child.”

With this, the husband let out a piercing and agonizing cry. How many tears did he weep for a child? How many tefillos did he pray with incessant fervor to merit this boy? Yet, to enable him to live he must allow his beloved wife to die. How unbearable the pain!

“Let my wife live!” screamed the broken a husband.

The woman heard the noise from within the labor room, and realized the desperation and bleakness of the situation. She wanted to know exactly what was going on.

The doctor entered the room and told her, “You are very weak, yet the baby is healthy and big. It is not possible for you to deliver him. We must surgically remove the baby in order to sustain your life thus killing the baby.”

The wife trembled and said, “You cannot do this! I give you no permission!”

“But your life depends upon it!” responded the doctor.

The wife adamantly cried, “I must do what is proper in the eyes of Hashem. I refuse to take my life at the price of the life of my son!”

The doctors tried unsuccessfully to convince her to reverse her decision. They told her that she had her entire life ahead of her, and that her husband loved her. She had to make the decision on behalf of the both of them, they would say. Yet, she refused to be persuaded. All she ever wanted was to have a child to survive her.

She was ready and willing to give her life for that of her son.

There is no describing the cries and screams. The woman knew that her minutes were counted. She called for her husband, and said, “I am going to pass away as is the way of the world, and it is the design of man for his heart to forget the pain. Yet, there is one request that I ask of you. This boy that I am giving birth to will never see my face. Tell him about me. Tell him how I suffered for him, how much I love him. Tell him everything I did for him until I gave him my life. Tell him that I want him to follow in the ways of the Torah, and that this would give me the greatest of pleasure and merit in the World Above. And tell him that on every yartzeit he should learn to give merit and lift my soul.”

As the woman completed her words, the baby was born and she tragically passed away.

The boy lived with the memory of his mother – her image set before his eyes at all times. On her yartzeit, he recited Kaddish as tears streamed down his cheeks. When he grew older, each year he would close his store on that day, gather a minyan to learn Mishnayos, and he himself would learn all night and lead davening during the day with a broken heart.

Yet, the years passed and his emotions cooled and diminished. But, he was still loyal in observing the yartzeit, although he no longer closed his store or gathered a minyan to learn. And, even though he lead the davening, his davening was cold and expressionless.

Before evening, he went upstairs to visit his father, yet his father refused to see him.

The son shook in fear and asked, “Father, why do you hide your face from me?”

The father responded rebuking, “I was in shul, and I heard your cold davening. Is this the way a son davens for his mother – for a mother who in her death gave him life?”

The application of this moshol could not be any clearer. Chazal remark that the Beis ha’Mikdash is also referred to as a Mishkan since it served as a mashkon, collateral, for the sins of Klal Yisroel.  It was through its destruction that we were saved, as Rashi relates, “Hashem unleashes His anger on wood and stones.” Rather than annihilating Klal Yisroel, he destroyed the Beis ha’Mikdash. The least we can do is observe the time period of its ruin by davening for and lamenting it! Would it not be only proper for us to mourn its destruction and pass along to our children this sense of indescribable loss – one that both they and we have never merited to see, yet through it we live today? Does the Beis ha'Mikdash not deserve at least this much?

The Navi Yirmiyahu states, “For I have heard an outcry like that of a woman in labor, in pain like a woman giving birth for the first time. It is the voice of the daughter, Tziyon, for she will wail, she will wring her hands, 'Woe is me, now, for my soul has been wearied by the killers.'” From here our moshol is vividly clear. A woman in labor has given her life to protect her son from death. Is it not appropriate that her son mourn her loss? Is it not a sacrifice worthy of mourning?

(Translated from Ma’ayin ha’Moed)

We may have never seen our holy Beis ha'Mikdash, but if we would only realize how it gave us life! 

Let us keep it alive - let us bring it back alive!

Say to yourself ten times today:

"Hashem, I am sorry that Your Home was destroyed - because of me! Please give me the strength to help rebuild it!"

Color Blind

"See, it's not about races just places; faces where your blood comes from; is where your space is, I've seen the bright get duller; I'm not ‘gonna spend my life being a color

" (MJ)

Are we using our colors to
make us brighter?

The majority of people see colors quite clearly and distinctly, and can tell the difference between their various shades. However, there is period of time that everyone becomes color blind - each and every night. Have you ever noticed that it is difficult to distinguish between different colors under dim light? Or how you cannot even recognize blue from red at all at night?

The first thing that happens is that the color receptors in our eyes are not sensitive enough to light in order to keep responding as it gets dark. As their responses get smaller and smaller, so do the differences in the color signals from the different receptors, and objects end up looking less colorful. As this continues and the light level keeps dropping, the color receptors, called cones, can no longer respond at all. A different type of receptor, called rods, can respond at these low light levels, but the rods do not have the capability to distinguish colors. Therefore, we basically see in strictly black and white at night.

Judaism is quite colorful. We come in many colors and shades. Different clothing. Different yarmulkas. Different dialects and pronunciations. But there is something we share in common - we are all Jewish. In broad daylight, it is easy to tell the difference between us - which isn't really a problem at all. In our prime, when the Beis ha'Mikdash stood tall and the Presence of Hashem was sensed by all, our uniqueness as individuals, though part of a glorious Nation, was a great attribute of ours. In fact, as we camped beside the Mishkan, we were clustered by sheivet. There was a distinction between us.

Yet, today and for the past 2,000 years, we find ourselves in a period of darkness. Our exile has blackened our eyes. It has stolen our light, our glory. It tore down our Beis ha'Mikdash as well as tore us apart from one another. 

It is during this time of night that we must adjust our vision. At night, we must become color blind. We must learn to shed our labels of one another. We must not allow our different colors to keep us separated. Indeed, this is the very source of our exile. During this darkness, we must recognize that it is not a matter of what color Jew you are, but rather that you are indeed a Jew!

As we near the date when we mourn the destruction of both Batei Mikdash, let us remind ourselves of who we are - and who we must be in order to merit the end of our darkness ... the day when Hashem will cast the ultimate light of the Final Redemption upon us, may it come soon in our days! 

Say to yourself ten times today:

"I love my fellow Jew! I love every single one of them!"

Fly Away

"You're a butterfly, and butterflies are free to fly, fly away, high away, bye, bye" (EJ)

It's fly time. You can wing it.

One of man's greatest dreams is the ability to fly.
Is flying not the lure of superheroes, such as Superman? Somehow we feel that we would be greatly empowered if we were equipped with the capacity to fly.
Well, we indeed can fly.
Although our bodies are bound to the ground by the law of gravity, our spirits and souls can certainly fly. Yet, just as birds, our skill of flying is also bound by rules.

The saintly Rabbi Yisroel Salanter once found himself outside, staring up at the skies. Observing the birds flying above, he was inspired with an insightful thought about human nature. He turned to his students and remarked, "My dear students! Look at the grace and beauty of the birds. Did you ever pause for a moment and ponder how high they can fly? Yet, when they stop thrusting their wings up and down, how they fall so fast! We are just the same as they! When we put forth all of our energy and might, we have the ability to soar up to the Heavens. However, if we were to lose our stamina and inspiration for but a moment, how quickly and far we can fall! Let us try, my dear students, to continue to fly strong, and draw near to our Father in Heaven! All our lives, let us not stop for even a moment!"

Hey, you never know. Maybe one day all that flying will make you into a superhero.

Say to yourself ten times today:

"Hashem, please give me the willpower to keep flying closer to you!"

The Age of Wii

"Come together right now over me" (TB)

It's not a game. It's life.

We clearly live in an age of "I before we." It is an age where most people choose me over we, rather than the reverse. We see this everywhere.
It is quite natural to think about ourselves and our personal needs. We are indeed human. This behavior begins from the very beginning of our existence. As babies, we cried until we were attended to. In early childhood, our most frequently screamed statement was, "It's mine!" As young teenagers, we never thought our parents could be right. After all, we always knew better.
Right?
However, as time passes, we are designed to become more sensitive to others. At a certain age, we should come to the realization that we are not in this world to benefit ourselves alone. It is no mistake that we don't get married at 8 years old. At that age, we are not old enough to comprehend the concept of thinking about someone else, let alone live with that notion each and every day.

Is it not interesting that we live in a generation where even our culture boasts a certain bold selfishness? Is it not odd that we focus so strongly on the "I before we"? Perhaps the most popular item in the American market today is the iPod and iPhone. Even in Israel, the second most popular snack brand is Bissli (li, as in for me). It is no wonder, then, that even when we use the word "we" today, it can be distorted. Thus, the Wii even has "I" in it - twice!

Wires are used to connect two things together.
We live in a wireless world.
"Stay connected."

Say to yourself ten times today:
"Hashem, please give me the strength to think and help others today - not just myself!"

Hitting the Right Key

“But all I really know is what I see, and everybody sees it differently … But I'm the only one who holds the key” (RS)

Where did you put your keys?

Children and adults often ask the probing question, "Why does Judaism have so many complicated rules? Why does it seem that if I don't fulfill a mitzvah exactly as prescribed, I don't get credit for it?" Perhaps, when it specifically comes to davening, people wonder why they seem to try to concentrate and recite the words properly, yet don't appear to see results. "I say the words, but nothing seems to happen."

I always find it amazing that with all the locks in the world, each one has its own key. With something that seems so small, so finite in size, yet each lock requires the exact cut "teeth" in order to unlock it. Some ridges are taller, some shorter, yet, each lock has a matching key with the perfectly proportionate combination. If one would try a key that has a similar style to any particular lock, it wouldn't work. As close of a match as it may be, it still won't open the lock.
Each mitzvah unlocks an infinite array of power and reward. Each tefillah unleashes worlds of energy and opens tapestries of treasures. However, we can only earn these results and reveal this power and energy if we use the right key. Each mitzvah has its measured requirements. Each tefillah depends upon the right combination of words, feelings, and thoughts. 
We certainly have the potential. Hashem gave us each the necessary keys. However, just as a locksmith takes a bare key and cuts it with precision to match the needed result, so must we custom tailor our keys to fit each lock. And, just as a locksmith may use pre-existing keys to imitate and copy in order to serve the identical lock, so must we use the Torah and its great scholars to form our keys so that we may unlock each particular door throughout our lives. 

"Gam key ei'lech b'gei tzal'moves, lo i'ra ra key Atah imadi" - fear not, for Hashem has given us the key to unlock the shackles of doom. The key is to always have faith in Hashem!

Say to yourself ten times today:
"Hashem, please help me find the right key for everything in life!"

U Turn

“You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead — your next stop, REAL LIFE” (TZ)

Read the road signs -
time to make a turn

"It's never too late, never too little," as they say. And it's true.
Let's face it. It's so hard to change a bad habit. The longer we allow the habit to remain strong, the more difficult it is to break it. But it can always be broken. Always.

You're driving down the road as the numbers continue to roll forward on the odometer. Enjoying the scenery, you smile as the warm sun beats down upon you through the window. Appreciating every moment, you feel thankful that you're alive and well, heading towards what you anticipate will be a great trip. Yet, after a while, you take your eyes away from the beautiful landscape ahead, and glance at the signs. Suddenly, you realize that you've been driving the wrong way for miles! 
"Ah, forget it! Just continue!" you tell yourself. "After all, the scenery is so fantastic!"


This doesn't appear to be very realistic. If a person has a destination, he would most certainly turn around immediately and head in the right direction. Yet, what would happen if a person forgot his destination? Or entirely forgot he had one? Would he turn around after all?
This world is quite a big place. It's easy to get lost. But the key is to remember that we have a destination. A very important one at that. We cannot become distracted or else we may lose our vision. Our mission. Our destination.
Keep your eyes on the road signs - they'll lead us in the right direction. Don't lose focus. However, if you're perceptive enough to realize that you're going the wrong way, find that first "U Turn" sign and turn right around! The scenery isn't worth it! Your destination is so much more important!

Say to yourself ten times today:
"Hashem, please lead me and help keep me in the right direction - I don't want to get lost!"

Just Be You

“'Cause I have wandered through this world, and as each moment has unfurled I've been waiting to awaken from these dreams. Doctor, my eyes, tell me what you see … just say if it's too late for me” (JB)

Have you found you yet?

There are billions of you's in the world, but only one me.
In a society where everyone is trying to be someone else, we often lose sight of who we are - and who we can be. In our never-ending attempt to achieve happiness, we must pause and ponder why so many have failed.
What is happiness? True happiness? And who defines it?
There are many images and icons of happiness in the world today. Through a seemingly endless array of avenues, we are sent subliminal messages as to what happiness entails, and who possesses this happiness.
Is it fame?
Fortune?
Good looks?
If we attempt to be someone else in order to arrive at a blissful existence, we are doomed to fail. To be truly happy, we must first reveal who we are - our positive traits, talents, and aspirations - and what we can be. Only then can we realize what will truly make us happy. Truly happy.

Here is a short insight that sums it up:
"If I am me because I am me, and you are you because you are you, 
then I am me and you are you.
But if I am me because you are you, and you are you because I am me,
then I am not me and you are not you."

"Just be yourself - everyone else is taken."

Say to yourself ten times today:
"Hashem, please help me find the real me!"